Down To Earth Newsletter
Volume 5 – Issue 2 – March, 2006
Cast Your Vote for Mental Health – Both Dr. Marlo and her Lovely Husband, Jon, will be walking at the State Capitol on April 8th for the National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI). Vote for Mental Wellness in Arizona by making a donation on Jon’s Walker Page or on Marlo’s. All proceeds go to NAMI in Arizona.
Debunking Myths – Is the Hokey Pokey really what it’s all about?
Myth: James F., one of our smart-alec readers in Okalahoma, actually poses the question this month, “What if the Hokey Pokey is really what it’s all about?” Fact: Well, James, we’re actually going to field, and answer, your question, from a psychological standpoint. The fact is, the Hokey Pokey IS really what it’s all about. First, anyone who wants to do the Hokey Pokey, can. Anything you have trouble with, someone will help you or no one will care. It doesn’t matter if you’re young or old, a cool teen, or an overweight grandma. Racial or ethnic group is also quite irrelevant. Take someone foreign to a wedding, it takes about 4 seconds for them to pick up on the basics and join in. Folks on crutches or in wheelchairs participate, as do the mentally handicapped and professional athletes. A blind person can assist a deaf person in participating and both will have a blast. There is no win or lose. There is no minimum or maximum number of participants. Everyone is welcome and everyone has fun, and that, James, IS what it’s all about.
January Discussion Question: Why do you think it’s important to tell the truth?
Markie S. from Arizona offers this popular answer, “It’s too hard to remember all the lies and keep your stories straight.”
Julie B. from Wisconsin writes: I used to always think it was easier to get out of trouble if no one caught you, but I realize now that someone always catches you, eventually, so you may as well just tell the truth right up front.
Finally, Susan S., also from Wisconsin offers: If you tell enough lies, no one believe you, not even you.
Great answers, folks! For those of you who included your mailing addresses, your Dr. Marlo prizes are on their way!
March Discussion Question: If you could make a new law for your hometown, what would it be and why?
E-mail answers to: firstname.lastname@example.org and answers will appear next month. Your state of residence, your first name and last initial will be used unless you tell us not to use them. Anyone who responds and also includes a mailing address will receive a BRAND NEW Down To Earth PRIZE as well as temporary tattoos until supplies are exhausted.
Thought For The Day: Everything is as it must be.
FEATURED ARTICLE – An Ounce of Prevention…
My 1996 Harley Davidson 883 Sportster came with a handbook detailing the preventative maintenance that was required to keep it’s engine running with the characteristic Harley sound and feel. At 500 miles, there were 26 procedures performed on the motorcycle, including changing the engine oil and oil filter, inspecting the air cleaner, checking the clutch adjustment, inspecting the brake system for leaks, and checking the wheel spoke tightness. If you asked me my opinion of how the bike was running at 500 miles, I would have said, “Fabulous!” If you would have asked me how tight the spokes were, I would have said, “I have no idea.
At 2500 miles, there were only 11 procedures recommended, including inspection of he tire pressure and tread, and the battery fluid level. How did it run at 2500 miles? Awesome! How was the tire pressure and the battery fluid level? No clue.
It’s time now for the 15,000 mile check up that has a staggering 31 procedures. How’s it running? Still great. Ten years later and it still runs like a dream. How clean is my fuel tank filter screen? How about my front fork bearing adjustment? And, what about the tightness of those spokes anyhow? Again, I have no earthly idea, but I don’t really have to because I’ve always taken my bike in for preventative maintenance according to the manufacturer’s recommendations. They know what that machine needs to run and I’ve been taking their advice.
Now, why don’t marriages come with a maintenance manual? Or, what about kids? Or houses? Or careers? Or bodies?
Well, they sorta do, but the information isn’t gathered as nicely into a short volume that is simply presented to you when you get married, have a child, or buy a house. In order to maintain those aspects of our lives, we must look broader for the information sources to determine the preventative maintenance that is required.
But is it really that difficult? If I asked you now, what do you need to do for your body, in terms of preventative measures, what comes to mind? Don’t drink too much, don’t smoke cigarettes or anything else, reduce fatty foods, eat fresh fruits and vegetables, exercise, and spend some time outdoors. Pretty simple, isn’t it? If we all just follow those basic preventative rules, we would go a long way towards warding off many of the ills that now befall us as a society.
Likewise, let’s think about marriage. What would be the preventative maintenance procedures every marriage should have at 1 year, 2 years, 5 years, or 10 years? How about saying, “I love you,” every day? Never going to bed angry, taking vacations together, remaining sexually and emotionally faithful, talking about issues as they arise, solving problems together, and respecting the opinions, emotions, and dreams of our partner. Again, many marriages would persist year after year if preventative maintenance were performed on a regular basis.
How do we keep our kids from getting pregnant at 16, or sent to jail, or from dropping out of high school? Same thing – preventative maintenance, all along the way. You cannot begin parenting a kid at 13 years of age and expect it to do any good any more than you can run a vehicle for 60,000 miles without changing the oil. You have to start from the very beginning, paying attention to your children, teaching them and supervising what they do, promoting their interests and exposing them to more, requiring they develop good habits and skills they will need to be independent. That starts at birth and requires continual dedication – rather constant maintenance, if you will. By the time a kid is 12, the parenting, for the most part, is over. You move, then, into more of a period of supervision than parenting. They will still benefit from your teaching, but will learn so much more by their own experiences from that point forward.
So, whether we’re talking about your house, your marriage, your kids, your career, your health, or just a motorcycle, if you love it and you want to keep it functioning well for as long as possible, you’ve got to do the preventative maintenance!
The Psychology Session – Internet Radio Show – Learn to Podcatch now! Easy instructions are at the end of this newsletter. Join in on the fun! Upcoming guests include Jeff Esser (March 27th) and a husband/wife team who will discuss recovery from addictions, AA, and Al-Anon (April 17). Featured in the December, 2005 issue of the APA Monitor, this internet show broadcasts every Monday from 11:30a-12:30p at www.drmarlo.com/radio. We welcome suggestions for topics or guests we should have on the show. You can also advertise on our show for $5 per 15-second spot . E-mail suggestions or inquiries to PsychologySession@drmarlo.com.
Dr. Marlo’s Movie Madness – Entertainment & Education – Historically held on the Third Thursday of each month, Dr. Marlo’s Movie Madness will be moving to a new day to try to accommodate clinicians’ schedules. E-mail suggested days/times to email@example.com. Each month we show a free movie with a mental health theme. Interested parties can stay after the movie for a discussion about the movie. One credit informal CE awarded for a $10 fee. Upcoming Features: April 20 – Pay it Forward, May 18 – Crash, June 15 – Door to Door (FREE Watkins products for the first 9 to register for the June 15th movie!). Networking at 7:15pm, Movie at 7:30pm, Discussion until 10:00pm. Sign up for Movie Madness updates by sending a blank e-mail with ‘subscribe’ in the subject line to MovieMadness@drmarlo.com.
Do you have a relative or friend who would die of embarrassment to walk into a therapists’ office, but who could really benefit from therapy? Perhaps e-therapy would be right for them. Dr. Marlo provides e-mail consultation and phone sessions. Please refer your family or friends to www.drmarlo.com/EasyPay.html to select a 30 or 60-minute phone or live chat session or e-mail consultations. Perfect for people outside of Arizona, people too busy to come into the office, or people who want to investigate therapy a little bit before coming in for face-to-face sessions.
Publish Your Work – Promote your Practice – Two ways to publish – for free as a semi-anonymous author (your state of residence, your first name and last initial will be used), or, for $10, as a professional promoting a mental health practice (your full name, with credentials, address, phone number, and e-mail address will be included). We reserve the right to decline to publish any submissions. Send creative contributions to: firstname.lastname@example.org.
Dr. Marlo in the Media – The Arizona Republic ran several articles consulting Dr. Marlo for advice regarding kids. The articles, no longer freely available on AzCentral.com, can be purchased from their archives – or ask to see our copies when you are in our office!
PARENTS CAN DO TOO MUCH FOR PUPILS
January 18, 2006 •• 429 words •• ID: pho125406458
When parents volunteer at their children’s schools it frees up teachers to do more meaningful work and boosts the young ones’ confidence, experts say. But when adults get overly involved in their children’s academic life, it can backfire, interfering with what teachers are doing and making the children too dependent on their parents, local parents and teachers say. Psychologist Marlo Archer of Ahwatukee Foothills Behavioral Health Network, says she sees
PARENTS WHO VOLUNTEER AT SCHOOL HELP THEIR KIDS LEARN
January 19, 2006 •• 875 words •• ID: pho125404223
Parents can help boost their children’s self-confidence, academic performance and success in future careers when they volunteer at their school, experts say. They also ease teachers’ heavy workload, freeing them to focus on instruction and less on gathering supplies, making copies and other minutiae. But parents who cross the line, doing their children’s work for them and becoming hyperinvolved, can actually hurt their kids’ self-confidence
HOME ALONE, BUT NOT ON THEIR OWN: PLANNING KEEPS KID…
March 10, 2006 •• 1742 words •• ID: pho130249269
Leslie Schulz plans her work schedule to make sure her 12-year-old son and 11-year-old daughter aren’t home alone after school or on vacations. This year, however, her children’s spring breaks don’t coincide. During one of the weeks of spring break, Leslie, an engineer at Honeywell Inc. in Glendale, is taking vacation time while relatives are in town. Her husband, Tom, is a real estate agent who works from their Peoria home. Their flexible hours usually
How did I get on this Mailing List? – This mailing list started with all of my family and friends and colleagues, about 6 years ago. Since then, I have added just about any e-mail address I come across as well as people who request to join the mailing list. If you do not want to be on this list, you can unsubscribe by clicking the unsubscribe link below. I continue to subscribe people upon receiving their e-mail addresses because I get positive feedback for doing so from many of those I subscribe. My apologies if you are not one of them.
I have no idea why I missed the February issue. Ooops! –Marlo J. Archer, Ph.D.
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TO PODCATCH THE PSYCHOLOGY SESSION:
This is an introduction to the podcatching process, by Techie Jon Archer, translated into English (but very poorly understood) by Dr. Marlo Archer.
Podcasting is the process of broadcasting over the internet and Podcatching is the process of receiving, or subscribing to, such broadcasts. Although these procedures were popularized by the Apple iPod devices, you do not need to own an iPod to have fun with Podcasting and Podcatching.
Devin Jones, M.Ed. and Dr. Marlo have been Podcasting an internet show called The Psychology Session for almost a year now. Now you can learn how to Podcatch it.
However, if you do already own and regularly use an iPod to subscribe to Podcasts, all you need to do is add the following link to your subscriptions to begin receiving our show:
The rest of you will first need to download a Podcatcher. That is software and we recommend one called, "Juice," which is free. To download and install Juice:
Go to http://juicereceiver.sourceforge.net/index.php. Download the version of Juice that will work with your machine – either Windows, or Mac, or Linux. You will be asked to ‘select a mirror.’ All that means is that you’re selecting a website from which to download the free software. There are ‘mirrors’ all over the world. Find one that is close to your location and click the “Download” link. When a window opens to ask what you want to do with the program, select “save to disk,” then hit, ‘okay.’
When the program file is done downloading, go to where the file is and open it. That is, go to where your computer puts new downloads and open the program. It will be called something like: JuiceSetup.exe. It will probably have numbers between the words Juice and Setup (e.g. Juice22Setup.exe.), but those numbers may change between today and when you try this process, so I am not going to put exact numbers in there right now. Anyhow, it doesn’t matter, you probably don’t have anything else in your download folder that looks like JuiceSetup anyhow. It will be an ‘executable’ file and your computer may have some concerns about that, but that’s okay and you should reassure your machine that it will be alright.
The Juice Setup Wizard will then take over and help you install the program. For most common folk, all the default settings are fine, just agree with everything and keep hitting, ‘okay’ or ‘next.’ until you get through all the screens. The only thing you may want to change is that you may want for Juice to be installed into your start-up folder, meaning that it would automatically check for new broadcasts every time you power up your machine. If you specifically want that, you have to select that during the installation process. The default is to only put an icon on your desktop. For those of you who are intimidated by this process, the desktop icon alone will be fine, so don’t worry about anything I just said, just let the Wizard install Juice the way it wants to.
You may have a firewall that informs you that Juice is trying to access the internet. You should let it. You then must agree with the licensing agreement to begin using the program.
Then you can follow the ITunes Setup Assistant to configure it for your machine. It will probably inform you that Juice is not set to handle some file types and ask you if you want to set them now. You can hit ‘yes.’ and then hit ‘save’ when it goes to the ‘one-click subscription’ options. The items: .rss andshould already be checked, and that’s fine.
Now, to subscribe to our show, The Psychology Session, click on the little green plus sign, to add a subscription. When the window opens, cut and paste this into the URL space:
and then hit 'save.'
It will instantly catalog all our past shows for you and only the most recent one will be selected to download. You can download as many or as few as you want. Select the shows you want to download by checking the little box to the left of the show titles. Then, when you are ready to download them, click on the green square button that has two yellow arrows on it. (Hovering over the button reveals the words, "Check for new podcasts")
Once your selected shows are downloaded, a green 'play' button will appear next to each show you downloaded. Click on that 'play' button to play the show.
When you're ready to quit listening and close the Juice program, it will ask you if you want to just leave Juice running in the background. If you do that, it will automatically download new episodes of The Psychology Session if any come out while your computer is still on. To have Juice running constantly, you would have had to let it install itself into your start-up directory during the installation process.
When you return to your computer on another day and you want to check if you have any new podcasts, click on the Juice icon (a yellow lemon) to open the Juice program.
This whole process will create a new directory in the "My Documents" directory, called "My Received Podcasts." It will even organize each of your subscriptions into it's own folder. There should be a folder there for The Psychology Session, if you installed it correctly and downloaded at least one show.
There may also be some sort of Adam Curry iPodder Test Channel there, and you can just ignore that. Deleting it probably won't actually make it go away. If you really don't want it there, then you have to go into the Juice program and unsubscribe from the Adam Curry iPodder Test Channel, then go delete the folder. Otherwise, it will just keep downloading the welcome message for you. You will also be automatically subscribed to "Juice News" which doesn't currently have any messages in it. You can unsubscribe from that or ignore it, whichever you prefer.
That's it. You'd be subscribed to our show and ready to Podcatch!