April 2008

Down To Earth Newsletter
Volume 7 – Issue 4 – April, 2008

Clinicians – Prepare For the Inevitable – Write a Professional Will – May 1st – Join the Arizona Psychological Association’s Early Career Psychologists for a “Not so Happy Hour” at a club appropriately named, “Fate,” at 905 N. 4th St in Phoenix, Thursday, May 1st at 6.30. Dr. Marlo Archer will share her professional will and provide guidance for preparing such a document for your own practice. Professional wills provide for continued care for your clients and their records in the event of your death or disability.

Debunking Myths – There is no such thing as World Peace!

Myth: At a recent convention, fellow psychodramatist, Dr. Adam Blatner tasked me with writing an article, “Twenty Ways To World Peace.” As I considered his challenge, I realized that if I had the answer to that, I would have, most certainly, shared it with the world by now and that peace would be breaking out all over. So, I tried to reduce the scope of the question to be less ambitious than including all of mankind, and perhaps just focus on my own humble household, which currently consists of only myself and my Lovely Husband and Office Manager, Jon Archer. When I thought about that “world,” I realized that it is not even peaceful 100% of the time in that world, and the two of us chose each other. How on earth is peace to be created amongst all of mankind, including groups that very much did not choose each other?

Fact: I thought again of the definition of peace and decided that the Jon & Marlo Archer “world” was basically peaceful overall, and that periods of difficulty are rare, repairable, and are surrounded by periods of contentment. So, can that be my hope for all of mankind? That we experience periods of difficulty that are repairable, and that are surrounded by periods of contentment? I do think that is possible and that it also currently exists.

Human beings will always have periods of difficulty with each other, followed by periods of contentment, if they are willing to do the repair work that follows the periods of difficulty and if they behave reasonably during the periods of difficulty. Further, the periods of difficulty can be fewer and farther between if people focus on being cooperative rather than being competitive, so as much as groups of people on the planet can cooperate, rather than compete, the more peaceful our existence will be overall.

Thus, I believe we already have world peace. Those that are currently suffering under difficult conditions can eventually expect reparation and contentment and those who are currently experiencing contentment can eventually expect suffering under difficult conditions. The cycles are just so lengthy that they can easily exceed several human lifespans, such that it seems some people always suffer, while others always experience lives of luxury. Any study of history that looks more than 300 years in any direction will reveal that this is simply not the case.

Therefore, you already have world peace. If you are not feeling overly peaceful, then try to resolve the difficulties you are involved in by cooperating with those who are causing the difficulties. If cooperation is not possible, do what you can to tolerate your suffering with grace and dignity without turning violent. Protect yourself, as you must, but do not attack if it can be prevented. If, on the other hand, you already have a reasonably content lifestyle, you might seriously consider working hard to relieve the suffering of others before they figure out how to trade places with you, violently.

I would propose that we already have as much world peace as we’re ever going to get and that it’s up to each and every human on the planet to do his or her fair share to negotiate difficulties non-violently wherever possible, suffer some atrocities with dignity, be open to making amends and forgiving when the difficulty has passed, and to work hard during periods of prosperity to share the wealth with the less fortunate. Those who neglect that final step are generally slated to become the next group that will suffer.

March Discussion Question: What “mistake” have you made that positively enhanced your life in ways you didn’t anticipate?

Ida S., in WI, reports that her not getting a job for a while resulted in her and her husband opening their own restaurant. Read her humorous account…

Several months ago my husband came towards me with a section of the newspaper rolled up. As he got closer he appeared to be handing it to me.

I asked him what it was. He replied, “It’s an employment section. If you roll this up and stick it under your pillow, maybe the job fairy will bring you a job”.

Stricken – I paused for a moment – looked at him and we both burst out laughing. I’d been out of a job for quite a while and hadn’t really put any effort into finding a new job.

I said, “I’m not getting a job”. He said, “How will we live? We need a second income” Being the baby in my Italian-American family I had to learn how to respond FAST to tight situations and I told my husband, “I’m not getting a job – WE”RE opening a restaurant.”

He never looked back. For close to 40 years he has worked in the area cooking and sous chefing at several successful locations and now he’s gearing up to do it in our own little cafe.

(FYI – the restaurant has since opened!)

Duane B., in AZ offered this response: There have been times when I did not listen to my gut. Usually I do listen. But once in a while I rationalize what I would want to do. To overcome this weakness I sometimes ask close friends what they suggest. Usually they suggest what the gut wanted me to do all the time.

Bill W., from CO had this to say: Marrying the wrong woman led me first to my own personal growth to figure out what life was about and finally a change of professions from architecture to counseling. Talk about the need for a sharp learning curve.

Another interesting take on a previous marriage comes from Sue A., in VA, who also likes to call mistakes “experiences that may not have turned out as well as I had hoped.” She reports,

my difficult first marriage to an alcoholic was a “mistake” or experience that did not turn out well. The experience of that marriage itself did end up making my life better in many ways. It brought me to a program of recovery that changed my life forever. I could not have anticipated the direction my life would go in or the person I would become. I could never have anticipated what a wonderful relationship I would have today with another alcoholic. That “mistake” gave me the tools I need to face all of life on life’s terms.

Way to go, everyone, learning from “mistakes,” or “experiences that may not have turned out as well as you had hoped!”

Dr. Marlo prizes are on their way!

April Discussion Question: What’s the best gift you can give to the next generation?

E-mail answers to: discussion@drmarlo.com and answers will appear next month. Your state of residence, your first name and last initial will be used unless you tell us not to use them. Anyone who responds and also includes a mailing address will receive our fantastic information cards, RECOVERY REMINDERS, and a couple of temporary tattoos, just for fun.

Thought For The Day: There’s always enough for everybody if you only take what you need.

To spotlight our E-Coaching services, our newsletter includes a personal growth exercise. These exercises illustrate the kinds of activities our clients are asked to complete when they are using our E-Coaching services. The exercises printed here are quite general in nature, but the exercises sent to our E-Coaching clients are individualized to meet each client’s specific needs. We currently offer a package of 10 E-Coaching Sessions for $500.

Twenty Ways to World Peace
Branching off our the Debunking Myths segment, this is your opportunity to come up with your own “Twenty Ways to World Peace.” As stated above, the FOUR KEYS to having as much peace as possible are for each human to focus on the following: 1) Resolve your difficulties non-violently where possible, protecting yourself, but not attacking unless absolutely necessary; 2) Suffer some atrocities with dignity, 3) After periods of difficulty, make amends and forgive, and 4) During periods of contentment, share the benefits with others.

Take 4 sheets of paper and write each of the FOUR KEYS to world peace on a piece of paper. Then, as ideas occur to you, write practical steps you can take towards each of those four keys. Keep on writing until you have at least 5 on each page and you will have Twenty Ways to World Peace. Then, more importantly, begin taking those actions immediately.

Here are some concrete examples to get you started:
1) Resolve Difficulties – Say hello and smile at Carol each day when she arrives at work.
2) Suffer with Dignity – Bless and wish well to the red Buick that cut you off on the freeway.
3) Make Amends / Forgive – Think of the rude man who skipped in line at the Circle K and truly allow yourself to forgive him, imagining yourself even saying to him, “No problem, I forgive you.”
4) Share the Wealth – Invite the guy on the corner to watch the ballgame at your house.

World peace doesn’t have to be complicated, but it does take some effort. See what you can come up with!

For a FREE 5-Session Trial of E-Coaching, send us a report of how this activity worked for you! We may share your report in our next newsletter with your name, last initial, and state of residence (unless you tell us not to). Send to FreeSessions@drmarlo.com. (Offer Expires 5-23-08)

E-Coaching! Try it Now!
Not every problem is a mental illness. Not every issue is a trauma. Not every botherment is an emotional disorder. For life’s daily issues and for personal growth, now there is E-Coaching! Dr. Marlo Archer offers a 10-session consultation package for people who are not diagnosed with any mental illness who would just like some coaching, some guidance, or some personal growth. We are offering the 10-Session package for $500. Begin by using PayPal to send a $500 payment to DrMarlo@drmarlo.com, then send an e-mail to that same e-mail address, expressing your specific area of concern to begin!

Dr. Marlo’s Movie Madness – Entertainment and Education
Something exciting is underfoot! Later this year, Dr. Marlo’s Movie Madness will change venues. We will move this event from the office to our home where we will be able to accommodate up to 10 credentialed clinicians comfortably to enjoy a movie, popcorn, and informal continuing education. We will continue to show the movie for free and offer the CE certificate for $10. Suggest a movie now for our debut in September and mark your calendar for Thursday, September 11th from 6:15pm – 9:00pm. If your selection is chosen and you have included your mailing address, we will send you a FREE DVD MOVIE from previous years’ Dr. Marlo’s Movie Madness. Sign up for Movie Madness updates by sending a blank e-mail with ‘subscribe’ in the subject line to MovieMadness@drmarlo.com.

Publish Your Work – Promote your Practice – Two ways to publish – for free as a semi-anonymous author (your state of residence, your first name and last initial will be used), or, for $15, as a professional promoting a mental health practice (your full name, with credentials, address, phone number, and e-mail address will be included). We reserve the right to decline to publish any submissions. Current subscribers = 2741. Send creative contributions to: articles@drmarlo.com.

Dr. Marlo in the Media
Veronica Sanchez of Channel 12 news team interviewed Dr. Marlo for a story about road rage, following 3 violent incidents on Phoenix’s roadways in a week. Story text and video are available online. Click here.

We write a monthly column about teenagers for Arizona Together Newspaper, Arizona’s Good News “Newspaper,” Established 1991. Read April’s Article, ” All I really needed to know, I learned from a teenager” online. Arizona Together currently reaches 50,000 readers monthly who are interested in recovery from addictions of all kinds.

The Psychology Session – Internet Radio Show – SEASON THREE WINDS TO A CLOSE – Season Three will wrap up on April 28th with special guests, Neil Weiner and an associate. All three seasons of The Psychology Session are available online – and – you don’t have to even download them anymore, you can just play them right out of the webpage! Let’s hear it for Producer Jon! We continue to welcome show suggestions and advertising sales. E-mail suggestions or inquiries to PsychologySession@drmarlo.com. Order SEASON ONE AND TWO ON CD! Only $20. Send requests to PsychologySession@drmarlo.com.

Together we can do it! –Marlo J. Archer, Ph.D.

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