Down To Earth Newsletter
Volume 5 – Issue 9 – November, 2006
Dr. Marlo’s Movie Madness – Moving Back to Thursdays after December’s Star Wars Movie Marathon – The six-month trial of having Movie Madness on Friday mornings did not result in much additional interest, so we’re going back to Thursday nights in January. We hope to see some of our past attendees back and welcome some new ones as well! But first, a special event…
Friday December 8 – ALL-DAY STAR WARS MOVIE MARATHON. (All 6 movies, in order.) To honor our volunteer, Devin Jones, the most enthusiastic Star Wars fan we’ve ever met. From 1999, Phantom Menace 7:00am-9:13am. From 2002, Attack of the Clones 9:30am-11:52am. From 2005, Revenge of the Sith 12:10pm-2:30pm. From 1977, A New Hope 2:45pm-4:48pm. From 1980, The Empire Strikes Back 5:05pm-7:14pm. From 1983, Return of the Jedi 7:30pm-9:46pm. Food and Beverages available all day, or bring your own. Come for one or more of the movies, or stay for the WHOLE MARATHON. Just watch the times, we’ll have to stay on schedule to get all six movies in. It’s FREE!!!! – No CE’s awarded for this special event.
Debunking Myths – Agreeing To Disagree – A Good Solution?
Myth: When you can’t come to a reasonable agreement with someone, isn’t it just best to ‘agree to disagree?’
Fact: Yes and No.
If the person with whom you are not able to agree doesn’t really matter to you in your life, it is probably just best to leave the issue alone. For example, if you and a stranger are in the grocery checkout line and you strike up a conversation about whether or not you like Brittany Spears’ new hair color, if you prefer the blonde Brittany and the other shopper prefers her with black hair, it would probably be best to just agree to disagree and complete your shopping.
Likewise, if the topic doesn’t matter to you, but the person with whom you’re disagreeing does, it is probably best to drop the matter. For example, if your son absolutely loves to watch the giraffes at the zoo, but all you really care about is seeing your kids have fun, it won’t matter to you if you spend all day at the giraffe exhibit, even if cougars are your favorite animal. There is no need to argue about which animal is ‘better’ because it really doesn’t matter to you.
However, when the topic really matters and the person really matters, “agreeing to disagree” really doesn’t work.
If a husband and wife disagree about how money should be spent and they both consider money very important, they cannot just leave that topic alone or they are headed for trouble. If several adult children want their elderly mother to stop driving, but mother finds driving extremely important to her independence and self-esteem, they can’t just ‘agree to disagree.’ If two soldiers each think a different course of action would be appropriate in battle, they can’t just go about their merry way, each taking a different approach. They must find agreement in order to succeed.
In issues where the topic really matters and the person with whom you have the conflict is really important to you, you must take the time and effort necessary to resolve the conflict or you will build up resentments that will eventually destroy the relationship and thwart any goals you were trying to reach together.
October Discussion Question: Why is it so hard to admit mistakes?
This month, there was a great reply from long-time Sedona reader, Kimberly R.:
People think it is a sign of weakness to admit mistakes, but it’s actually a sign of strenth and not that many people have the strength to do it.
So true, Kimberly! Your Dr. Marlo prizes are on their way to you now!
November Discussion Question: Who do you wish you could have at your Thanksgiving table this year?
E-mail answers to: email@example.com and answers will appear next month. Your state of residence, your first name and last initial will be used unless you tell us not to use them. Anyone who responds and also includes a mailing address will receive one of the “Return to Wellness” Roomarangs as well as temporary tattoos until supplies are exhausted.
Thought For The Day: Asking for anything is a risk. Asking rudely is an unnecessary risk.
ONGOING FEATURE – PERSONAL GROWTH EXERCISE
To spotlight our E-Coaching services, our newsletter includes a personal growth exercise each month. These exercises illustrate the kinds of activities you may be asked to complete if you were using our E-Coaching services. The exercises printed here are quite general in nature, but the exercises sent to our E-Coaching clients are individualized to meet each client’s specific needs. We are currently offering 10 E-Coaching Sessions at the Introductory price of $100 total.
Mind – Body – Spirit
This is a timed exercise that can focus you on where your energy gets directed. It has to do with examining how you nourish your mind, your body, and your spirit, and what you do to break yourself down in those same areas. You’ll need just 20 minutes or less to do this exercise, but you’ll need to have a 2-minute timer ready before you start. You’ll need something to record your thoughts as well, either a pen and paper, or an empty word document into which you can quickly type. When you have those things and you are ready to begin, read on.
1. Set the timer for 2 minutes and quickly write down (or type) as many things as you can think of, that you do to enhance your mind. Things you do to improve your mind, add to your mind, or make your mind work better. Go!
2. Now set the time for 2 minutes again and quickly write down as many things as you can think of that you do that damage your mind, that break your mind down, that make your mind work much harder than it has to. Go!
3. Now give yourself 2 minutes to think of, and record, all the nurturing things you do for your body, the things that you do that keep your body healthy, fit, and feeling good. Get down as many as you can think of!
4. Now spend 2 minutes listing all the things that you do that harm your body, make it harder for your body to function, the things that stress your physical body and the things that cause you aches and pains. List them quickly!
5. Now take 2 minutes and quickly list as many things as you can think of that you do to enhance your spirit, to feed your soul, to increase your connection to the greater universe, to keep a healthy spirit. Write fast!
6. Take the final 2 minutes and list the things that you do that damage your spirit, that reduce your spirit, the things that crush your own life force and bring you into a place of low spirituality. Write as many as you can think of!
7. Now take up to 5 minutes to just pause, reflect, and examine your lists. Is any one of the 6 lists much longer or much shorter than the others? Are all your harmful lists longer than all of your helpful lists? Was there one area – mind, body, or spirit, where it was hard to write anything, good or bad? Are there any items on these lists that alarm you and have you thinking of change? Just make a few notes about your observations.
8. Now take up to 3 minutes to make one or more commitments to yourself, based on your observations. Perhaps you will promise to visit with friends more often. Maybe you will tell yourself to start exercising twice a week. You may decide you need to cut back on work hours. You may vow to join a yoga class or start a Master’s program, or finally find a church. You may decide to call your grandmother, your brother, or to stop calling your ex-boyfriend. That is entirely up to you, but do promise something to yourself that you’re going to do differently from now on. Allow yourself to shift your focus if it isn’t where it needs to be.
For a FREE 10-Session Trial of E-Coaching, send us a report of how this activity worked for you! Send to FreeSessions@drmarlo.com. (Offer Expires 12-16-06)
E-Coaching! Introductory Price – Only $100 for Ten Sessions
Not every problem is a mental illness. Not every issue is a trauma. Not every botherment is an emotional disorder. For life’s daily issues and for personal growth, now there is E-Coaching! Dr. Marlo Archer offers a 10-session consultation package for people who are not diagnosed with any mental illness who would just like some coaching, some guidance, or some personal growth. We are currently offering the 10-Session package for the introductory price of $100. Begin by using PayPal to send a $100 payment to DrMarlo@drmarlo.com, then send an e-mail to that same e-mail address, expressing your specific area of concern to begin!
Dr. Marlo’s Movie Madness – Entertainment and Education
Each month we show a free movie with a mental health theme. Interested parties can stay after the movie for a discussion about the movie. One credit informal CE awarded for a $10 fee. Networking 7:15-7:30pm, Movie at 7:30pm, Discussion until 10pm. Upcoming Features: Thursday, January 18th – Fearless (Suggested by Pat Stacy), Thursday, February 15th – Derailed (Suggested by Dr. Marilyn Stromsness). Suggest movies for March 22, April 19th, or May 17th. Sign up for Movie Madness updates by sending a blank e-mail with ‘subscribe’ in the subject line to MovieMadness@drmarlo.com.
Publish Your Work – Promote your Practice – Two ways to publish – for free as a semi-anonymous author (your state of residence, your first name and last initial will be used), or, for $10, as a professional promoting a mental health practice (your full name, with credentials, address, phone number, and e-mail address will be included). We reserve the right to decline to publish any submissions. Send creative contributions to: firstname.lastname@example.org.
Dr. Marlo in the Media – We write a monthly column about teenagers for Arizona Together Newspaper, Arizona’s Good News “Newspaper,” Established 1991. Read November’s issue online. Our article, “What’s a Little Weed?” is on Page 5. Arizona Together currently reaches 50,000 readers monthly who are interested in recovery from addictions of all kinds.
We also write a monthly article for www.EVLiving.com, Your Guide to the East Valley. Read November’s article, “Keeping Emotions in Check During Holiday Season” in the Everyday Solutions section.
The Psychology Session – Internet Radio Show – Season Two – Season Two has begun, complete with the addition of our broadcasting intern, Ryan. Check out our new sound this season thanks to Ryan. A change in scheduling has derailed our live broadcast, but we will still be regularly uploading new shows for podcatching and for download, so just go to our archives and download any of our shows. We welcome show suggestions and advertising sales. E-mail suggestions or inquiries to PsychologySession@drmarlo.com. Order SEASON ONE ON CD! Only $10. Send requests to PsychologySession@drmarlo.com.
May this Holiday Season be Safe, Sane, and Satisfying! –Marlo J. Archer, Ph.D.
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TO PODCATCH THE PSYCHOLOGY SESSION:
This is an introduction to the podcatching process, by Techie Jon Archer, translated into English (but very poorly understood) by Dr. Marlo Archer.
Podcasting is the process of broadcasting over the internet and Podcatching is the process of receiving, or subscribing to, such broadcasts. Although these procedures were popularized by the Apple iPod devices, you do not need to own an iPod to have fun with Podcasting and Podcatching.
Devin Jones, M.Ed. and Dr. Marlo have been Podcasting an internet show called The Psychology Session for almost a year now. Now you can learn how to Podcatch it.
However, if you do already own and regularly use an iPod to subscribe to Podcasts, all you need to do is add the following link to your subscriptions to begin receiving our show:
The rest of you will first need to download a Podcatcher. That is software and we recommend one called, “Juice,” which is free. To download and install Juice:
Go to http://juicereceiver.sourceforge.net/index.php. Download the version of Juice that will work with your machine – either Windows, or Mac, or Linux. You will be asked to ‘select a mirror.’ All that means is that you’re selecting a website from which to download the free software. There are ‘mirrors’ all over the world. Find one that is close to your location and click the “Download” link. When a window opens to ask what you want to do with the program, select “save to disk,” then hit, ‘okay.’
When the program file is done downloading, go to where the file is and open it. That is, go to where your computer puts new downloads and open the program. It will be called something like: JuiceSetup.exe. It will probably have numbers between the words Juice and Setup (e.g. Juice22Setup.exe.), but those numbers may change between today and when you try this process, so I am not going to put exact numbers in there right now. Anyhow, it doesn’t matter, you probably don’t have anything else in your download folder that looks like JuiceSetup anyhow. It will be an ‘executable’ file and your computer may have some concerns about that, but that’s okay and you should reassure your machine that it will be alright.
The Juice Setup Wizard will then take over and help you install the program. For most common folk, all the default settings are fine, just agree with everything and keep hitting, ‘okay’ or ‘next.’ until you get through all the screens. The only thing you may want to change is that you may want for Juice to be installed into your start-up folder, meaning that it would automatically check for new broadcasts every time you power up your machine. If you specifically want that, you have to select that during the installation process. The default is to only put an icon on your desktop. For those of you who are intimidated by this process, the desktop icon alone will be fine, so don’t worry about anything I just said, just let the Wizard install Juice the way it wants to.
You may have a firewall that informs you that Juice is trying to access the internet. You should let it. You then must agree with the licensing agreement to begin using the program.
Then you can follow the ITunes Setup Assistant to configure it for your machine. It will probably inform you that Juice is not set to handle some file types and ask you if you want to set them now. You can hit ‘yes.’ and then hit ‘save’ when it goes to the ‘one-click subscription’ options. The items: .rss and podcast should already be checked, and that’s fine.
Now, to subscribe to our show, The Psychology Session, click on the little green plus sign, to add a subscription. When the window opens, cut and paste this into the URL space:
and then hit ‘save.’
It will instantly catalog all our past shows for you and only the most recent one will be selected to download. You can download as many or as few as you want. Select the shows you want to download by checking the little box to the left of the show titles. Then, when you are ready to download them, click on the green square button that has two yellow arrows on it. (Hovering over the button reveals the words, “Check for new podcasts”)
Once your selected shows are downloaded, a green ‘play’ button will appear next to each show you downloaded. Click on that ‘play’ button to play the show.
When you’re ready to quit listening and close the Juice program, it will ask you if you want to just leave Juice running in the background. If you do that, it will automatically download new episodes of The Psychology Session if any come out while your computer is still on. To have Juice running constantly, you would have had to let it install itself into your start-up directory during the installation process.
When you return to your computer on another day and you want to check if you have any new podcasts, click on the Juice icon (a yellow lemon) to open the Juice program.
This whole process will create a new directory in the “My Documents” directory, called “My Received Podcasts.” It will even organize each of your subscriptions into it’s own folder. There should be a folder there for The Psychology Session, if you installed it correctly and downloaded at least one show.
There may also be some sort of Adam Curry iPodder Test Channel there, and you can just ignore that. Deleting it probably won’t actually make it go away. If you really don’t want it there, then you have to go into the Juice program and unsubscribe from the Adam Curry iPodder Test Channel, then go delete the folder. Otherwise, it will just keep downloading the welcome message for you. You will also be automatically subscribed to “Juice News” which doesn’t currently have any messages in it. You can unsubscribe from that or ignore it, whichever you prefer.
That’s it. You’d be subscribed to our show and ready to Podcatch!