We are taught, from little on, to protect ourselves. Don’t let anyone bully you. Don’t take any crap from anyone. Stand up for yourself, get what you deserve, defend yourself!
Well, that’s all well and good on the playground and on the football field and when competing for your first job, but by the time you’re getting ready to be married and settle down, you have to figure out how to DROP your defenses if you’re going to be successful.
You can’t take any two people, no matter how well suited they are for each other, put them together in a home and NOT expect any conflict. It doesn’t matter how much you love each other, disagreements are going to arise. You are going to accidentally hurt each others’ feelings. You will have different priorities and different values from time to time and it will be uncomfortable.
At times like that, you must learn to DROP your defenses and really listen to your partner to avoid having small disagreements turn into relationship-threatening fights. The two of you agreed to love each other and live together forever. If you truly trust each other, then have enough faith to drop your defenses and really listen to the other person when small conflicts arise.